By Alannah Murray
A comprehensive list of terminology, essential to the understanding of the exciting and unfortunate phenomenon that is the preclinical year(s)
| 27 Rainforest Walk | The spiritual hub of the preclinical cohort (especially since the introduction of free tea and coffee, circa 2016) |
| Arts | 1. A mystical utopia, devoid of hurdle attendances, biochemistry and intelligent life (actual existence unconfirmed)
2. A course and (complete lack of) subsequent careers that, upon approaching every exam, you will begin to consider more and more seriously as: a) credible; b) worthwhile, and c) inevitable 3. The butt of every. Single. Joke. |
| Biochemistry | A fascinating subject; inspiring and scintillating, bound to motivate you and renew your passion for medicine |
| Doctor | A transcendent status acquired upon the (unlikely) successful completion of your medical degree |
| ESSENCE | The basis of modern medicine; a framework vital for proper diagnosis, treatment and management of all patients. |
| Golden Oak | The nectar of the gods; drink enough to gain an edge over your fellow students with an early exposure to the exciting clinical environment of your local Emergency Department |
| Gunner | Somebody actually dedicated to their studies; known to induce extreme panic and sensations of inferiority in their normal peers; to be avoided at all costs (unless obtaining copies of their notes). Warning signs include:
1. Knowing answers in tutes 2. Surgical career ambitions 3. Enthusiasm and motivation to learn (what even?) |
| Jaffy | An affectionate term used to refer to first years; acronym standing for Just Another Fabulous First Year |
| MD | An inferior degree to the MBBS, adopted by Monash only as a charitable gesture to reassure the insecure and humble students of UniMelb of their prestige and superiority |
| MUMUS | A fun group of pals who come together to provide you with academic support, wellbeing initiatives, social events and, of course, phenomenal publications |
| Mindfulness | A life-saving intervention, proven by numerous (questionable) studies to increase longevity, telomeres, life satisfaction, and cure all known diseases |
| Mitochondria | The powerhouse of the cell |
| Notting Hill Hotel, The | A classy local establishment within walking distance of campus; renowned for attracting Monash’s best and brightest each Thursday evening for networking and professional development (of alcohol tolerance) |
| Parkington, Helena | A most enthusiasdick enthusiastic and ecsextric eccentric character, known for giving arousing rousing and emphallic emphatic lectures |
| PBL | The most exciting 3 and a half hours of each week, during which you will exchange ideas with your colleagues, refresh facebook, engage in exciting academic discussion, contemplate the futility of tertiary education, develop self-directed learning skills, and wonder whether 3.5 hours is indeed a finite amount of time |
| Postgrad* | An ancient life-form, native to the sprawling urban metropolis of Churchill. Easily identifiable by:
1. Birth date in the 70s 2. Wedding photos in their DP 3. Having 3+ dependent children |
*Note that The Auricle does not endorse poking fun at postgrads, and reminds readers that immature undergraduate students are just envious of their actual life experiences.
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