The Car

Discuss the quality of the teamwork in your current, or recent clinical placement with one of the clinicians. How do they rate the teamwork? What is their, and your, perception of the main factors that are influencing the adequacy of teamwork in this unit?

The car, by the owner’s own admission, wasn’t reliable at the best of times. It sat in the hospital carpark, a great marooned land yacht of a thing, with its hood propped up, offering a glimpse of the ancient looking mechanics lurking within. Its metallic burgundy paint gleamed in the sunlight, reflecting every cloud in the sky in crisp and deep detail. I looked on in confusion as the psychiatrist fussed about in the engine bay, twisting and tightening and adjusting all sorts of odds and ends. His crisply pressed white business shirt had its sleeves rolled up just above the elbows, as to not get his cufflinks snagged on anything.

It was a 1996 Ford LTD he’d told me, one of very few left. He’d gone on to explain the origin and particulars of the car, using jargon that seemed even more mysterious than the medical jargon he used on the ward. Something about cubic inches and gears and differentials. I’d been sure to nod along during the exposition.

“Right,” he said abruptly, bringing me out of a daydream, “this is where you come in. You have to bring your car up nice and close, close enough for the cables to reach across from your car’s battery to mine.” He walked around to the trunk of the old Ford and produced a set of red and black jumper cables.

“Um, okay,” I responded with an air of confusion.

“Okay, let me explain it one more time,” he said, an edge of exasperation creeping into his voice, “my car’s battery is dead, I’m not certain why, it’s pretty new, but I think something faulty is in the electrical system is sapping it. The only way I can get it to start, so we can all call it a day and go home, is if you help me jump start it. To do that, all we need to do is temporarily wire up your car’s battery to mine. That’s it. Comprende?”

The Spanish he threw in for good measure jolted me into action, and with a sigh I began to move towards my car. I made a quick job of parking it nose to nose with the antique limousine, and propped the hood up to initiate the procedure. At the doctor’s instruction I left my car’s motor running, and it quietly hummed away as he started making the necessary connections. “You’re paying attention to how its done?” he asked as he worked.

“I’m not sure this is in the fourth year logbook.” The length of the day and abnormality of the task at hand lent a frustrated sharpness to my response, but the psychiatrist just chuckled.

“This is more important than almost anything in that logbook, one day you’ll see.” He stopped what he was doing and turned to me. “Look, this is an unconventional form of aid you’re being asked to offer here, but on this team, you’ll see that unorthodox help is sometimes necessary.”

“Is that so?” I was intrigued.

“Of course, I mean we deal with the most confronting, most demanding, most mentally unfit patients with the lowest absolute treatment success rate of any field. We’re under constant stress, and if we’re not willing to be there for each other in moments of trouble, we’ll be admitted as in patients ourselves,” he explained, “every member on that team has something that I don’t have, and I need to collaborate everyday as a result. Whether it’s the social worker’s ability to secure housing for a patient, a reg that can talk a patient into taking their medication, or a medical student that possesses a car battery that can hold a charge, I’m always relying on the cooperation of my team.”

He turned back to the engine bay of his car as he continued to explain, “we’re a team. Lone wolves don’t last too long in this game.” He added a final adjustment to the cables. Happy with how everything was looking, he moved to the driver seat of the LTD, and turned the key. After a few moments of the starter motor ticking away and the engine labouring to turn over, the car roared to life. After a few moments of the V8’s proud roar reverberating through the carpark, it settled into a smooth purr. The psychiatrist removed the cables from the cars and proceeded to drop both of their bonnets.

He produced his fountain pen from his pocket, “in the spirit of such teamwork, I’ll tell you what, I can sign your logbook for spectating ECT. I mean, this was basically Electroconvulsive Therapy, just on my car rather than a patient.” After foraging around in my bag, I handed him my logbook, and he scratched his signature down. He returned the book and moved back to his car. “Adios” he said before shutting the driver’s door.

I looked on as the gleaming red limousine slowly rumbled out of the parking lot and turned onto the main road outside the hospital, and waited for the distinctive vintage drone to recede into the distance.

 

Myocarditis

By Anonymous

I was 9 years old when my youngest brother was diagnosed with myocarditis. He was 5 at the time and had very vague symptoms. He refused to eat anything, he didn’t engage much with anyone at the time, and his overall behaviour was different. One day, when my parents took myself and my two brothers for a routine check-up with our paediatrician, she noticed that my younger brother’s skin colour was different. She urgently told my parents to rush to the emergency department without any delay.

He was admitted to Sick Kids hospital immediately and stayed admitted for about 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks were the worst 2 weeks for my parents. We were taken care of by our relatives while they spent most of their days and nights at the hospital. As a kid, my older brother and I didn’t know much about what was going on, and our parents didn’t share much of it with us either.

To me and my older brother, the hospital was beautiful. There was a hot dog stand right in front of the hospital, a wishing fountain at the entrance, and playrooms on every floor and unit. During each trip to the hospital to visit my brother, we would have hot dogs that our dad bought us, we’d throw a coin in the fountain to make a wish, and spend hours in the playroom.

My younger brother, on the other hand, was constantly being monitored, undergoing a number of tests and taking numerous medications every day. Luckily, he was one of the rare kids who didn’t need a heart transplant and was managed well with medications. Upon his discharge, a nurse made regular, bi-weekly, visits at home to monitor my brother’s health. He was also prescribed medications for a number of years until he was completely cleared of any further check-ups when he was 16 years of age.

Upon reflection, I can appreciate how difficult it must have been for my parents and how scared they must have been to think about the thought of losing one of their kids. Although it has been years since this happened, everyone is very protective of my little brother and even now, my parents refuse to tell us the whole story of what had happened at the time to avoid the feelings from coming back.

One thing I’ve learned from this is that it is really important to be aware of any subtle changes in the way a child behaves that is different from normal. Often, children may not be able to express what’s going on but may exhibit signs of irritability or failure to feed. These signs should be an alarm bell signalling that maybe something is up. In such cases, it is better to be safe and to get a check-up at a clinic or hospital instead of delaying medical attention. Sometimes, it may be more serious than what meets the eye.

BREAKING: Med Jaffy Discovers Monash Has A Physical Campus

By James Gunasegaram

MELBOURNE – Sources close to The Auricle have confirmed that Jordan Pierce, a Year 1 medical student from Monash, has just found out that Monash University has a physical campus.

We interviewed the 18-year-old from six feet away and in his pyjamas, which he had donned shortly before the start of online classes in March and has yet to change out of. He initially appeared to be confused by the revelation, saying “that’s so cool that they made Monash into a real thing.” Upon being informed that Monash had in fact existed in physical form since 1958, he remarked that he was surprised the university had been so quiet about its nearby campus and so restrained in its efforts to sell him additional services.

Asked why he didn’t question why the lecturers were standing in theatres for several streams, Pierce replied, “Oh I just thought they were virtual backgrounds. You mean they’re real? That’s amazing. I bet they’re always full, how could anyone turn down the chance to watch a lecture in person?”

He was elated to hear he might finally get to meet his classmates in person, saying “I can’t wait! They must be so smart – I can see them now, hands glued to their faces and deep in thought while the tutor explains how to wear a condom. And I’m pumped to hang out with them afterwards! I’m sure the nightlife around Monash is right up there with the city. After grinding my way through VCE, I think Medicine is the perfect time to relax and let loose.”

“And I hear we can do practical skills! I’m glad Monash is teaching us things we can’t learn anywhere else, like how to wash our hands, how to take the pill, how to wash our hands, how to meditate and how to wash our hands.”

Pierce appeared less happy when he was informed that he would not be able to mute himself to avoid answering questions during in-person tutorials or fake connection issues to catch up on some much needed sleep after spending all night on working on his TikTok career, but was relieved to hear that “family emergencies” and “missing the train” would be acceptable substitutes.

He further noted that despite his excitement at an eventual return to campus, he worried that the commute might cut into his daily hour of mindfulness meditation, saying “I’m working my way up from levitating pencils to apples at the moment, and I don’t want to interrupt it.” He clarified that while he could find a quiet spot on campus to meditate, it wouldn’t be the same without being able to look to his life-sized cardboard cut-out of Craig Hassed for reassurance.

More details on this ongoing story to come.