By Fraser Tankel
The hospital grind getting you down? Have you snuck off for an extended toilet break and already browsed all the dank memes? Are you wondering what life will be like once you’ve finished the VIA? Introducing….
Medical Bingo for Bored Students (MBBS)
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Consultant unaware of student’s existence |
“Hi, my name’s ___ and I’m one of the med students…” | Misses easy cannula | Gets kicked out of room because there’s ‘too many people’ | Orders 10 coffees on the reg’s BOQ Specialist card |
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Turns up to rounds incredibly hungover |
Follows reg to the toilet | Friend/family asks for medical advice | Wears RM Williams boots |
Can’t find patient’s chart or file |
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“Uh, I have a tute I need to go to…” |
“So, are you going to specialise, or just be a GP?” |
Free Grand Rounds
Lunch |
Obs not actually stable |
Gets stuck talking to patient for >1 hour |
|
Reg borrows pen and never returns it |
“Can you sign my log book?” | Ward round lasts >6 hours |
No swipe access to important area of hospital |
Actually asks about patient’s concerns |
| “Sorry, I’m just the student, so I’m not allowed to do that…” |
Best hand hygiene despite least patient contact |
Follows multiple dank medical meme pages | Requires antibiotics for conventionitis |
Contaminates sterile field |
The Auricle 